Without Permission

I'm at a loss....yet again.
I seem to be there a lot, especially when dealing with Bart. Which I am at the moment.
I don't think he knows, let alone cares that he hurt me in all of this. He's wound up and worried about Jess...fine. But you fucking hurt me! I doubt he'd care anyway, he's too self absorbed...it's all about him at this point and he'd put on that I was hurting him further. As if I should care if he's hurting....he left me. He hurt me. He lied to me. I was honest about everything, I was there for him for whatever. I loved him.
I can't even be sure he ever really loved me. I'm left to look back on things and wonder if he was EVER honest with me. All the times he said he was dealing with kids, all the time he said he'd fallen asleep....was it true? At this point I highly doubt it. Everything he's ever said to me is left to suspicion...
The one thing I really wish is that he understood how much he hurt me. I just can't bring myself to tell him, I'm afraid he won't get it, or he won't care.